To Get Kicked Out Again
5.06.06
yesterday was not a good day...
feild trip sucked. fought with zack the whole time.
fought with Gisi now i have to go to school on monday and fight a referal. dumb bitch.
went home in a bad mood. wanting to kill everyone.
went to my "drug counseling" in a vindictive rotten mood. resulted in me telling off my mom. that the "fuckin interigation isn't from her." told her to shut her mouth.
left went to the nursery. when i all i wanted to do was go home. mom told me to come with her and i said no that i wanted to stay in the car and draw cause i was in no mood. well i guess it overly upset her and she started balling i guess thats what she considers something special to do with your daughter... yea take her to buy stuff she's allergic to. Dad came back to the car and left mom and jessse in the nursery. persisted to smack me in the face. and tell me that i was a selfish concieted bitch...
got home told him i needed to go for a walk. he said no. so i planned my escape. i thought garrett got off work at 10.00 like always... but no. he got off at 11. so i left at 9.45 left a note on my desk...
went down there. and all i wanted to do was smoke... i just wanted to get high i needed to chill the fuck out. i punched my fist so hard that is swollen and bleeding. one part started gushing blood. kinda distugsting.
zack was trying to be nice, he could tell i was overly perterbed. we walked round with his hands on my waist....
i was about 3 seconds away from taking a bong hit. when alex's phone rang. and his mom was asking if i was up there... i knew i was fucked. so much trouble. sure enough my parents were callin round asking for me. i went outside and talked to penny. and she ended up calling my fuckin mom and so we got in a fight out front of penny's house. thankfully zack snuck back in and didn't get in any trouble.
came home to my mom yelling to pack my shit... penny said she'd support me. cause yea.. she can tell i hate being at my house. fuckin bastards. they said i have till "morning" to come up with my own solution for the "problem"(me being the problem). we'll see how well that works...
i dont see how they expect me to get any better if they keep me locked in the house forever. it doens't make any sense. dannielle change but we're not gonna allow you to change anything.
what i want to say and what they'll disregard is... that they need to give me back my freedoms. start from scratch. keep giving me my UA's (coming back clean of course.)and so long as i keep looking for a job(twice a week like they said). then just back the fuck off... and till i fuck up.... go suck a dick. but this whole looking for a job with them on my ass is not gonna do me any good. i think they dont realize it.. but fuck it cant be that obscure, WTFE. i just want out of here.
and if today doens't go well... dannielle already has a bag packed. and penny has already offered to come get me. so we'll see how today goes...