quite honestly, i have no idea whats going on lately... not a clue.

seems like the world keeps moving and spinning around me, while i'm stuck in my room watchin everything fly by.

i dont have my phone, which is in all honesty, my only connection to the outside world. and now that i dont have it, its like i have no idea whats goin on.

couple days ago some stuff went down. i dont even know what happened. i remember getting a call from my mom telling me to come home. which i promptly did. took a shower, got into my room to see her and my dad standing there holding my carmax container with i think about 8 morphine. screaming persisted. me crying. them blamming everything that i had gotten into on kurt. i dont understand it.

i don't think he's gonna talk to me. cause i guess from what i hear. my dad went up there. and quote unquote had a heart to heart with Rich. i dont think i'm allowed in that household anymore. which fucking breaks my heart, cause i love that family... more than i love mine.

well i guess i lost a prom date in the midst of all this as well.. somewhat quite depressing. cause well i really was looking forward to going with him. would of been fun.

guess now i'm gonna have to spend april 15th with zack or with someone else worth while. i guess the 15th's also my older brothers birthday. so spend it with him. get drunk, you know. we'll see...

i hate how things got so fucked up.

and i miss kurt, more than i miss anyone else out of this whole being grounded situtation. i miss him, i'm worried about him. and i'm scared he doesn't want to see me. which is what hurts most of all. cause i need to see him.


i dont know...


i just miss him.